Nine years ago, 150,000 people paid Cards Against Humanity $15 to protect a pristine parcel of land on the US-Mexico border from racist billionaire Donald Trump's stupid wall.

Two years ago, we discovered that an even richer, more racist billionaire—Elon Musk—snuck up on us from behind and completely fucked that land with gravel, tractors, and space garbage.

Last year, we took Musk's ass to court. After battling his team of expensive, jizz-gargling lawyers, we eventually got him to admit on the record that his company did, in fact, fuck up our land. Which is illegal. Then he packed up his space garbage and left.

That brings us to today. Our land is now surrounded by a “town” called “Starbase”—a corporate hellscape littered with broken rockets and ugly mansions for Musk’s shit-eating executives. What a tragic fate for our beautiful parcel, where wild horses once galloped freely in the Texas moonlight!

But hope is not lost. We still have our rights as proud Texas landowners: we can build something on our land. Something that will annoy Elon Musk. Something that will make him wonder, for a brief moment, “Wait, am I a sad little bitch with no friends?”

Today, we’re announcing the Official Elon Musk is a Sad Little Bitch with No Friends Monument Design Committee. For just $10, you can join a movement of like-minded people working together to force a moment of introspection upon the world’s richest, ugliest little bitch.

Thank you for reading this website, which Cards Against Humanity certifies was 100% written by humans, for humans, and against one particular human.

Love,

Cards Against Humanity

What’s happening?

We have forced Elon Musk to get the fuck off our land, and now it’s time to build something on it—a monument to remind Musk that he’s a sad little bitch with no friends. For $10, you can help us design that monument, or you can support the cause by getting one of our new expansions (10% of profits go toward the monument).

Where's the land?

Our beautiful land is located on the US-Mexico border, right on the Rio Grande. Once a pristine riverfront property, it was illegally defiled by Elon Musk two years ago and then annexed into “Starbase, Texas” (his creepy company town). On both sides of our land, Musk is building mansions for his harem of prostitutes executives, who we’re confident will enjoy seeing our monument whenever they look out the window.

What are the new expansions?

The Super Box is a big expansion with 300 brand new cards for 2026—the dumbest year yet. The Bad Billionaires Pack is all about miserable sociopaths like Musk, and the Big Balls Pack is about…balls. To get both packs, grab the Big Bad Bundle, which also includes some packs you missed and 10 bonus cards about Donald Trump’s best friend, Jeffrey Epstein.

What does it mean to join the Elon Musk is a Sad Little Bitch with No Friends Monument Design Committee?

Designing and constructing a grand monument to force a moment of introspection upon the world’s richest, ugliest man will require creativity and commitment. You’ll get to make suggestions, vote between options, be part of a community, and brag to your friends that you helped Cards Against Humanity fuck with Elon Musk.

How do I join the Monument Design Committee?

There are two easy ways: you can click this link and join directly for $10, or you can buy anything on the CAH Store and you’ll be able to join the committee for $10 during checkout (it will be obvious).

Won’t Musk stop all of this?

No, it’s our land, which we own and he doesn't. If SpaceX tries to violate our property rights again, we’ll forward their legal threats to everyone on the committee—so you, too, can experience the thrill of participating in legal action with Elon Musk!

Is the money I pay to join the Monument Design Committee tax deductible?

Sadly, no. Unlike Elon, we’re not willing to commit tax fraud.

Can I get the Super Box or Big Bad Bundle from other places, like Amazon or Target?

You sure can, but we’re only donating profits from orders placed directly with us. So, if you want the expansions but you’re afraid of Elon Musk, you can support Jeff Bezos here: Super Box, Big Bad Bundle. Or whoever the fuck the CEO of Target is here: Super Box, Big Bad Bundle.

Why do you keep calling Elon Musk “a sad little bitch with no friends”?

Great question! (1) He is sad, (2) he is a bitch, and (3) he has no friends.

Did Elon Musk spend his 47th birthday alone, with no friends?

Yes.

Did Elon Musk beg Jeffrey Epstein for an invitation to his island, but get rejected?

Yes.

You’re saying that even the world’s most infamous pedophile didn’t want to be Elon Musk’s friend?

Yes.

Is Elon Musk a loser?

We at Cards Against Humanity have debated this question at length. In some ways, no. But in most ways...yes.